Daddy get me...

One of the best surprises little boys love to get is *anything* that daddy brings home after a day at work. A candy, an old toy from under the car-seat, a packet of biscuits... you get it.. anything.
Aiden has his eyes on something called 'crashing-car'. As the name suggests, it must be something related to cars that crash into each other. No clue where he got that from, but that's his latest fad. So as his daddy was leaving for work (with great difficulty detaching himself from very dependent mother and son duo) Aiden calls out to daddy, "Please bring me crashing cars." to which daddy innocently responds, "I don't have crashing cars."
And pop came the reply "You can get them from U.S. or London" Haha! Daddy says, "I'm going to office, not to U.S. or London." But the little fellow won't let go so easily... "Get a flight to London, Dad"
Hmmm...

Today's lesson. Check.

During lunch today, Jean-Petit jumped off his chair, ran off to the kitchen to drink juice and then water spending some good 5 minutes there. From my corner of the table I yelled out to him, "Aiden! Enough water! Come and finish your lunch."
He reappeared shortly, walking slowly with a wide grin and said,
"The water is going to the amniotic fluid!"

:)

Where can I go?

I remember my days of test from not long ago. I didn't particilarly want to meet people. They hurt, their words hurt. And now I find myself in their shoe. I hurt. My presence hurts. And I hurt inside. I wish I could leave the 'I' behind and bring comfort to people. But still ChrIst needs to use me. As Imperfect as I am.
I wish to dissapear for a while, if my absence brings solace, to change the unchangeable.
To a dear being, as dear as s sister, as barren wombs-turned fruitful brought us closer together under the very cross where we got healing, one fear marres joy. That one fear hurts more than words can describe. That fear hurts me too.
I prefer to have faith, a faith that moves mountains. A faith that claims promises. A faith that drives away fear.
Its an unfortunate thing that I was born without that kind of faith. But I know who has it!! I can go where I can find it! And all we can do is to leave the fear in exchange for the faith & for the hope, knowing that He is in control.

Picture of the year!

Jean-petit unfolded half a roll of tissue and was told to learn to roll it back. When I turned around to look, this is what I saw...

Surviving an adoption gone wrong - the story of our 'could-be' child

For two years as a family and as a mother I prayed for, longed for and cried for a new baby in our home. The desire of our heart was to bring to our home-fold a baby born outside our known bounderies. Perhaps someone who needed us just as much as we needed them. So for two long years, we filled in papers, got sorry emails and pursued absolute dead-ends in our pursuit for a baby-sister. We were once given an option for a male child, but we preferred a female child, knowing that many of them dont survive beyond the womb and many of those who do, don't beyond their first few weeks on this planet.
Just as we were giving up all hope, we got one bright call, for a bright-eyed girl. Joy rang in our home, it would soon be filled with sounds of laughter and baby talk! We sent as much information as we could, and equally received all they knew. The two months dragged on, and we could hardly wait for the journey to be over. A was super excited he would get a baby-sister and we kept talking about her and praying for her.
The institute sent us pictures of the baby, and to me she already looked like one of us. It would be wonderful, that day when we'd be able to hold her ourselves! At the end of those long months, they finally gave us permission to come, she was now well enough to travel. We frantically bought baby clothes and tried thinking what essentials could we get there. We started booking tickets, thinking of the least coldest days to travel back. But alas, it was never meant to be. We couldn't get tickets anyhow, no matter what means of transport we thought of. Probably the only option left was to take a boat and travel the entire coastline of this peninsular country. How strange, we thought to ourselves, still we prayed, and hoped, and waited. Till the news came to us that we just couldn't.
At once our plans crumbled, i fell ill for months altogether. We no longer wanted to talk about it or even pray about it. The clothes we bought seemed to mock us and we stored them away to be given as gifts in the future. We stopped talking about the baby to A, and he would ask us when she'd come. Not anymore, was our dismal reply. The house grew quiet, Christmas came and crept away. The only adorments we put up were handcrafted words- HOPE, PEACE and JOY, hoping that these would find a way into us.
Our life took on its grind anew, and slowly we put our minds away from the gloom and fog that enshrouded our days.
I stored all these things in a corner of my heart, away from my mundane living. Till it came back haunting me a few days ago. In the death and stillness of the night, I sat up and whispered farewell to my sweet little could-be girl. I finally got the God-sent courage to give her back, to send her on her way to a bright, new, unknown future, with somebody else who would rejoice over her. It was like putting a little seed, dried up and dead into the ground, giving up claims of it forever, to bloom and be what it is meant to be in its own way.
And with that healing wound, to trust that God knows our ways, and to rejoice in all circumstances, I am able to take the next step up to life.

Good night

Here at noon, with a resplendent sun shining just a few meters away from where I lounge, the mountains hiding behind mist and glare, little J.P. scooting into the now empty wardrobe says in his melodious voice, ' good-night sweetheart'

...just in case...

It's cute (and funny) when little kiddos use grown-up phrases to describe their situation. Today after math, J-P declared emphatically, «I'm not feeling well»
When I asked him what the matter was, he looked straight at me and said, «just in case I don't understand!»
;)

Distraught!

Sometimes it isn't just bad health that makes days longer and patience shorter. Sometimes, just sometimes, it takes more. Working out a non lactose, non gluten diet,  taking adequate fluids and evaluating new energy sources has left me quite wiped out. I long for some extra rest, some quiet time... But alas when I came back from washing pre lunch dishes I found my day's hard work on the floor. It looked worse than this. Sigh.
So now I'm faced with my own inadequacy, my lack of humor, my short patience and a bunch of mess and theres no one who can save me but the Savior of mankind. Today I taught JP about Jesus great sacrifice and after our story he said to me, ' Mama did Jesus drive a truck after he was born in south india?'... Hmmm...

Oh wifey-wife

In pursuit of great motherhood, the most influential ingredient is undoubtedly wifehood. Probably the most time-consuming, difficult-to-point-to, heart-changing, tear-generating, life-transforming, sweat-producing stage.
So in my imperfection (which will change and mould into.. a different kind of imperfection.. lifelong) I decided it was a good idea to invest in being a good wife. And did I get a shock.
My tool- Moments With You
The weapon- Proverbs 5:3
The verdict- Words were smooth and dripping with honey while we dated, while we were 'in love'. And now that we, being 'in love' are married, those words are a bit drier, a bit coarser. Perhaps even a bit crunchier.
In earlier days, I would have (probably) said something like this, 'Darling! How lovely to see you home after a day's work!' (Emphasis and exaggeration mine!)
and now
'Can you not close the door behind you when you come in?! There are a million mosquitoes coming along with you!' (emphasis and exaggeration for real!!)

She captures him with her eyelids. While they are dating. When they are married, she gives instructions with her head stuck inside the washing machine, picking up the coins and buttons that are gathered there.
or
Yells from the kitchen, 'Oh are you leaving for work?' and thinks to herself,  'tis about time, yes.
or
Sits at a wedding feast across from her man, staring at him because they don't know anyone else and thinks, This is sooo boring! 

Haha!

This could be my story. Or perhaps yours. It's about time to invest in the most lucrative, family-saving relationship ever. Start somewhere. It's a choice, not a convenience!

 disclaimer -This post was my husband's idea! *wink*

Loose tooth.

It helps to follow some sort of routine for some of the unpleaseant-er things in life... things like brushing.
When dirty cheeked, dimpled little boys say in the most pitiful tone ,"But we did that yesterday!" it easier to take them through the whole process. At our home the process ends with a fun surprise (umm...routine surprise!)
Today I forgot the surprise and my bunny, the daddy of his bunny, reminded me in no vague terms. "Where's my loose-tooth he asked?" I stated at him scratching my head in confusion. "My loose tooth for my lips, the white one...for boys."
Then it dawned on me...
He was asking for Lip-stick!!

Today we spent our first own violin class at the park next to the poppies. We had an audience of three little girls, delighted to see an instrument and marveling at the sight of a little kid playing. Jean-Petit felt quite under pressure to perform and (using it to my advantage) we got quite a lot done!!
We're in love with the myriad of colours of flowers at the park. Tomorrow (hopefully) we shall do a nature study and bring back some of the specimen for a fun craft.
JP got all tired out with the classes and lessons, I realized a tired little boy is not a very disciplined little boy... He did surprise me with some lovely words before his droopy eyes shut for the night "I'm so glad to see you Mama"
Delightful!
A demain!!

Reading the Bee Tree third time today!

REX TREMENDAE in present and history.

Two weeks ago we had the great honor of learning from and being mentored by the renowned choir conductor and chief of the Musiciens d'Europe orchestra. A few students of string instruments were called to perform together guided by the professionals and headed by M. Curti in the performance of Mozart's Requiem. I loved learning the piece! Even though my alto clef sight reading is terrible and I don't own an alto instrument, giving it a go was the best choice.
Mozart wrote Requiem just prior to his death. He didn't complete the orchestra version, which was completed after his death by his student Sussmayr. As the name suggests, it is a requiem, a mass honoring the dead. Ironic that though Mozart was writing it for an unknown buyer, he was probably keeping the death of his parents in mind. And he met with his own death in the process.
One of the most beautiful (and most difficult to play) movements is the famous Kyrie (pronounced Key-ri-e) which also influenced Sussmayr's finishing the Requiem in the Lux eterna (eternal light). One of the most beautiful pieces where the alto plays an important role is the first movement of the Offertorium, Domine Jesu.
The movement I enjoyed best in Requiem was Rex Tremendae (King of Tremendous Majesty) for it's complex rhythm arrangement for the Alto. The music of classical era was primarily created for the soprano (played by the violins) and the basso continuo (Double Bass & Celli) and the viola or alto was 'filling in'. At the era, the alto had the liberty to fill in according to the rhythm of the soprano or basso continuo, thus a privilege to have an orchestra score carefully thought out for us. Mozart's writing of music is elaborate and accommodates two sopranos, his wife Constanze and his previous lover and Constanze's sister Aloysa, a prominant Soprano of the times.
At the end of our week's study and analysis of Mozart musical style, Jean-Petit Bello, witnessing his Maman  and teacher play in an ensemble without running out of the audience to greet her, was mesmerized by the inclusion of a flute and oboe along with the strings.
As I took out my sheets today and played a professional recording, my heart leapt at Rex Tremendae, to think of the Tremendous King, the author of all music, the director of Man's heart and the conductor of life's symphony, who commissioned us to carry on the music of hope (and delights in listening to Mozart's music) I couldn't help but be in awe of the grandeur and majesty of the Eternal.
May your hearts be filled with awe and hope as you listen to this.

Crumbling cookies - how not to bake!

How lovely it is to gift cookies, especially when a 3yo cuts them or rolls them! But sadly, I'm not gifted with baking skills. At least not when it comes to baking-stovetop.
A and I once made Nutella cookies (where we didn't have to cook) and I should've stuck to it. The other day we made 'baking powder' cookies and they ended up tasting like Tandoori Roti. And today, on the impulse of making *round* cookies, we plunged into total disaster. 

Ok, so here's how NOT to make cookies.
1. DON'T listen to your whiney son say HE wants to cut cookies THIS time.
2. If you've didn't get to THOROUGHLY follow step 1, don't despair. Just follow along.
a. Get any recipe off the internet. One with those yummy looking cookies stacked up high that make your eyes glow and mouth water.

b. Grab a sheet of paper, or more appropriately the son's scribbling notebook that's always lying around nearby and scribble down the ingredient list to making 15 servings of cookies (no, we don't want to waste perfectly good flour and oatmeal):

1/3 cup and 1 teaspoon butter softened 

1 tablespoon and 2-3/4 teaspoon packed brown sugar

(not sure how much that is since we own no baking equipment!) 

2 tablespoon and 2-1/2 teaspoon white sugar

etc..

etc..

If you don't own a wonderful kilo of packed brown sugar, don't caramelize any. Especially don't pick up what looks like a cup, and divided it into what looked like 3 equal parts. Don't randomly fill one of those three parts with sugar and put it on the pan to brown. 

If you do insist on caramelizing, make sure you pour it out from the pan into a metal bowl. Turn around to get an egg (finally you reach a point where there is an entire number and not a fraction. It's the egg! Unless you make less than 15 servings where you will be required to add 3/4 of an egg. If you get to do that, write about it and let me know.) 

When you turn around to get the egg, you will invariably hear crackling noises. Don't be alarmed. Those who reside in the dwarf planet Kitchen, do get accustomed to such noises. For those of us who are mere visitors, we get to realize at the point where we have to whisk the egg and caramelized sugar that the crackling noises were the caramelized sugar solidifying. Don't be dismayed! Just pick the bowl and heat it. And if you've already added the egg, don't bother. Just add the butter. When you begin to realize that an egg cooks when heated, take it off the heat immediately. A cookie made with cooked egg tastes pretty much the same (if not better) as a cookie made with whisked raw egg. 

The dry part of the cookie is a cake-walk. Just combine the flour, the 1 cup and 1 tablespoon of oats and salt. Add that to the creamy mixture.

Never mind if the mixture is characterized by one solid bulge of brown sugar. Just get a pestle and bang it into a thin sheet. If it crumbles, tell me how you got that done. Fortunately I suggest you to use metal bowls as they are sturdier to resist the blows of the metal pestle. 

Once you're tired of banging the solid sugar, you will realize that the creamy part wasn't sufficient to hold the entire cookie dough together. Don't run to check the recipe on the computer. Just add more butter. No need to divide the cup into further parts, just add the butter by instinct. It will begin to resemble  more a dough and look less like breakfast cereal. At that point pick a clump carefully and press it between your palms. Beware that the solid parts of the sugar (though they add great taste) hurt the hands a bit. If you prefer to roll them on a greased surface, make sure you do so carefully because they hardly hold together. 

Grease a pan (if, like me, you are an owner of two pans, one of which contains lunch and the other is available for cookies) Cover it till the butter is warm. Carefully place the cookies on the pan and cover for few minutes. When you figure out how many minutes that should be, call me. Uncover the pan and turn the cookies around. If they are slightly burnt on one side, turn off the gas and let heat for some more minutes. Don't be too dismayed. If the cookies are stuck to the pan because of the overwhelming presence of the solid sugar, just pry them off using any kitchen tool. Let cool, either in the pan or outside.

Sit back (if you've got the time) and enjoy the someplace-sweet and someplace-salty cookies. 

And if you insist on taking cookies as a gift, get some nice ones from the store near your home. 

A new arrival!

Today was a grand day for the musicians at home. We had a new-comer arrive! Welllllll, a different kind of a new comer. One that does require time, appreciation and (ahem) money in the real sense!
We talked about it last night, in a flurry, and decided to take the risk.. the risk of buying a size 1/8 violin.
When I arrived home, I thought of surprising A with his new "buddy". In a kind of exciting voice (that probably sounded more like a tired-for-being-out-since-morning voice) I announced to him that I had something new for him to play with. In a most gentlemanly, matter-of-fact tone, with an unflinching gaze at me he said, "I don't need a new violin, I've got this old one!"
Ah! I wanted to punch myself!
I didn't do that after all, and A did slowly take a liking to a violin that he can hold, that does have a chin rest and isn't all grimy with over-use. I do have a desire for him to like music, like playing the violin, like practicing to attain perfection, but I also keep reminding myself that he doesn't have to do it, at least not to please me. I know by experience that something done out of obligation and force can end up being a task, and it takes much discipline and many, many tears to have a heart for it. At this time I'm treading a thin line between teaching and allowing enjoyment of music, and I constantly ask for grace to permit, forgive and move on. So here is what our new arrival looks like...
(and isn't it nice to use the word like for things and love for people? I'm just beginning to learn...!)

The creepiest night of my life!

I'm not a great fan of spooky stories or ghost busters' tales, but I have had some chills run down my spine with 'phenomenal' dreams and documentary programs, but what I experienced last night was something of a kind...
Let me begin by saying  that I've had terrible headaches in the last few days, constant, draining and confusing. The moment my head hits the pillow, I'm off to dream-land, which is usually not the case with me.
And so I lay down  for a nap in the evening, with a heavy head and a heavier heart, not knowing I was going to be knocked out for the rest of the evening and most of the night.
My dream was simple and light for the most part. I was roaming a housing complex looking for a friend. Pretty sweet... so far! Only problem was my friend didn't look like her, didn't live where she lives and was hanging out three sets of children's ties, when she has only one child. I began to fret in my dream, look around some more for her again. I didn't want to give up, but then I heard some dogs howling.
Now there is some element of creepy-ness in the howls of wolves and dogs.  I know that they usually howl when something isn't right or when they see 'spirits'. In my dream I began wondering what was wrong, why were the dogs howling so strange. Why was their howl not the deep-throated, nerve wracking howl, but instead a whining, vibrating and lingering howl. And then I realized they were howling at me.
In what felt like few minutes, my body shook on the bed. I felt a strangle tingling move from my feet up and I turned. It felt as if something or someone had just 'entered' me. I woke to hear the last strains of the dogs howls, the ones that were 'sung' in my dream, as if they were the end of a music and I had just heard the closing of the fermata. The dream was over, I sat up, chilled. The room was dark, the curtains opened and the dogs fell silent again.
That's when I understood, I had been outside me!

Skeletal goof ups

I know practically nothing about anatomy, nor of the skeletal system except perhaps the word "bones"!
So here I went out on an expedition to increase my knowledge and I was glad to have Google partner with me...
Try as I might, some words were hard to pronounce and I rubbed my sleepy eyes to grasp the phonics, but I did end up making some laughable mistakes.

Showing results for: Vertebral column
Instead of: verbitral column
and
sternum
instead of: strenum!

Well... now I know!

Favorite things

One of my favorite homeschooling moments took place late one night, while A was snuggled in bed. With closed eyes and mouth slightly apart he mumbled between sleep, "Mama, let's do the Nelson Mandela lesson again."

Negotiation!

We like to listen to different kinds of music as part of our 'homeschooling music learning' and most often it's through Youtube. these past few days, I've got a craze to listen to the Carol of the Bells. Different versions, different instruments, different lyrics. So today I told Aiden to sit on his chair (serves as a piano stool, a story book-time chair, dinner when guests-are-around chair and reaching-over-the-bookshelf chair)
He said No.
(now I don't allow unreasonable arguments like NO and there is a pattern we follow (or try to) for appeal)
So I informed him again that he should sit on the chair. He wanted to sit on the sofa.
No sofa. Chair.
No chair. Sofa.
So he decided to come to an agreement. He simply picked up the chair, put it on the sofa and sat with a satisfactory "There!"

The negotiation!!

World 'creature' day!

Today A and I celebrated, in our own special way, World Creature Day. It left us giddy with excitement!! We didn't plan on having such an adventure, but we couldn't help it either. About 10 yards away from home, on our way to the park, we had to pass through a herd of grazing sheep (and a few goats and kids), and that set the tone for the rest of the evening! It was fun to walk among yellow (yes! yellow with turmeric) backed sheep, hustling each other to get another little grain left  for the pigeons. Fortunately (and not usual!) I wasn't scared .
At the park, I found a juvenile grasshopper hanging-around nearby along with a red lily leaf beetle. I tried to show A so I gingerly grabbed it from it's legs and took it around. Thinking that I might hurt it, I let it go, the movement which caused the Red to fly off. I chased him around and tried to get it. Apparently, it squeaks if squeezed gently, so next time I'm on that project!
While leaving the park, we walked out slowly and stopped to cross the road. Aiden alerted me with urgency to something on the ground. By that time I felt a thump on the toes part of my shoes and saw a snake lift it's head up. I quite froze to the ground. Feeling his little warm hand in mine, I took a few steps back and almost bumped into a few gardeners coming out, ending their game of cards. They started shouting 'Poisonous, poisonous' and told me to go back. One of them picked it up by the tail, revealing it's white belly and flung it around. I could see the bright brown color from far. Apparently it was a viper, with white rhombuses prominently contrasting the brown. I couldn't thank Aiden enough for warning me, and the Lord for giving me such  an enriched day!

A Jo and Amy moment...

Homeschooling, in my inexperienced opinion, has many moments.
Those Moments include moments where a child picks up something new, interesting, not know it's value and uses it as a toy. Quite impossible to lay all valuable things on the floor and teach each child not to touch it, or how to handle it.
Okay, so today, TODAY, just a few moments ago was my 'Jo' moment... little 'A'my didn't burn my precious story diary, but scribbled upon my recipe notebook. Hours of painstaking copying... for the kitchen was neatly, fascinatingly, intensely scribbled upon. Now I can't make out what happens first on one page, and how much of what goes on another page. 
Those times when 'Mother' is hurrying about heating water in one corner, washing dishes in another corner and baking desert in yet another corner, the little 'Child' decides to leave the world of toy trains, doll houses, tracks, dialogues, soliloquies, music and venture into 'Mother's' world. It's fascinating, intriguing, an all grown-up experience. There is no sound coming from their little corner, they are still, delighted and time ceases to matter. Those are the danger moments!!
I didn't know how to react looking at my red and pink notebook... I suppose he understood it was wrong, and started saying 'Sorry'.. oh how devastated I felt for a few minutes. But then Kitchen Books can be re-written in another few hours, in a notebook with a lock and key (no kidding!!) and little posts can be written, reliving the wretchedness of the Moment!

Tackling temptations

Just a few days shy of Christmas, we went out to a shopping street. It was cheerful, inviting, noisy and full of temptations! vendors dotted the streets inviting passers by to look at the display of their colorful things for sale. One of the greatest tempters were the cotton-candy vendors. They were tempters for two reasons, their cotton candy looks great and they are usually poor and inspire a great deal of sympathy. They called out to A various times, asking him to buy a package. I asked him to refuse politely, to say "No thank you." He was doing that quite well, but with a few problems. The vendors didn't hear him and he was tempted.
Back at home was a great opportunity to teach him (again) about what is good food and not-so-good food and about saying No to temptations. But then that doesn't always work...
It's easy when the temptations are a bit distant- toys on display or cotton candy on the vendors' stick. But what when somebody (a friend, perhaps) puts forbidden toys in their hands and asks them to take it home (another 'not-allowed' act)? I realized that the friends don't usually look to the parent for approval or permission, and that it was up to the child to stand up for the truth, for what he has been taught... pretty much like real life!! What a big lesson for a little child, to hold an object of desire and refuse it, in his (or her) little heart and in words. But what a fundamental lesson, that will free the child from foolishness and a bad habit!

A man of understanding will attain unto wise counsel.

I hope with all my heart, the journey each child takes, will be marked with these wise guideposts.

New Year, new life!!

I love to think of new things to do all the time, as a homeschooling mom, but unfortunately my gifting of creativity is on the.. ahem... lower end. But that's not a huge problem, there are a lot of people with great skills, who inspire me all the time, and then there is the Creator Himself, who helps me 'upgrade' skills and imaginations to a new level I wouldn't be able to achieve myself.

This new year, 2013, I really wish to explore the unexplored areas of learning, one step at a time, spread out through the year. Areas that intimidate me, areas that I've mastered through tutoring all of my life. It's easy  for me to fall in a routine method, but Yahweh is above routine, and a new life, new meaning is added everyday :)

Here's wishing you a lovely new year!!